So…hi there

Let’s be honest, I have no idea what I am doing or where this will end up; or really how I start this. So I guess maybe some quick facts about me:

  • I am a 20 year old female. (Crap I’m 20)
  • I like toast.
  • I like warm spaces.
  • There are 3 main conflicts within my life right now. The first being my mental health. The second my sexuality. The third if I am Gryffindor or Slytherin. All can be summed up in the question; who am I?

The start of 2017 for me, as the clock struck a second slower into midnight, gave me a strange kind of hope for better, for new. I was in a place full of affection, not necessarily directly towards me but towards each other, for I had infiltrated someone elses family for that holiday, in order to belong (and have a good time which I most certainly did). Luckily they seemed to like me enough so I have gone back since, and by God what a difference having a family, even a ‘fake’ one can make. So I recommend that to anyone out there, to my future self, infiltrate a family, even if it makes you hate yourself more later.

So almost 3 months into the New Year and I am still as fucked up as I was before that evening, hating myself slightly more, but in the back of mind in a little cove there is a tiny sunrise flag that I can see through my telescope when I allow myself the chance. Well isn’t that cliché, already we seem to have beaten the terrible oncoming tide of depression with a single slither of hope – I call bullshit. It is harder than that. Life is harder than that. It just makes poetical sense for prose to run that way, and if you have lived in reality long enough you will realise that is not how it happens.

Maybe to lighten the mood we should address one of the lighter topics on my list.

Toast.

I am not totally sure where my love for it started, I think somewhere between the lack of food, simplicity of such a food, and, my second and third cider. My current toast filled ambitions are to try out this hipster avocado toast fiasco *spoiler: it’s actually great, little lemon juice and salt, eh viola*.

With that rapid tangent, I think maybe I should stop and pick up on another post at some point before this one becomes too rambling and long – I mean it is only meant to be an introduction to myself, just another depressed millennial who feels like the world is going to shit with them trapped down below far away from the anchor or ship’s helm.

So, um, here’s to you *ja get it, making toast, and I love toast*

(I’ll think of a better line at some point)

S

 

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